I have a keratin related confession to make: I’ve only had a professional manicure done once in my life. You can pick your dropped jaws up off the table, I assure you I am not a street urchin.
I’ve just never really enjoyed the process of pampering. When I was at camp and we did massage trains (a line of cross-legged kids, giving what they think are soothing massages) I always volunteered to go at the caboose where my surely knotted back would avoid any kneading. When I go to the hair salon and the hair dresser begins to really get into it with fancy moves my shoulders shoot up to my ears in tense protestation. I twiddle my thumbs and bear the unwanted scalp hydromassage until it’s over.
I gave manicures a chance once, but the experience was so unpleasant I’ve never tried it again.