Monthly Archives: May 2015

Glossary of Modern-Day Dudes

DATING TERMINOLOGY

First things first – a disclaimer – I know diddly squat about men. Ab-so-lut-ely nothin’. So if you’re looking for dating guidance, or an oracle that explains the great mystery of the 21st century – modern-day 20-something dudes – then I must apologize, as this is a ‘blind leading the blind’ situation. However, I can certainly commiserate with you over the completely baffling texts, behaviour, yet equal dreaminess of the modern-day man. I have a crush on every cute boy. Quite literally. So here’s a glossary of all the different types of dudes we modern-day ladies have encountered at one point in our lives.

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Life Lessons c/o Sex and the City

LIFE LESSONS SATC

Confession: I have spent an absurd amount of my life planted in front of a screen. Specifically, I have spent an absurd amount of my life planted in front of a screen watching Sex and the City. Truthfully I have watched the entire series, start to finish, at least 9 times – and I suspect that’s an underestimate. Some may view this as a complete waste of time, that I have now said sayonara to many brain cells during these moments ‘lost’. I see it as a grand education in the intricacies and comedies of life and love (lol). While not always a completely relevant frame of reference for me personally (I am hardly living the fabulous life, nor am I dating approximately one billion dreamy men), I have learned some very important life lessons from these HBO-crafted women. Here are the top tidbits of advice I have taken away from each of the characters of the show. Continue reading

Flashback Friday: Silver Fox Edition

SILVER FOX

Aging is inevitable. It happens drastically once each year, but really (and not to get existential here and bum you out), it’s happening with each passing moment. But don’t worry, this isn’t necessarily bad news. For one thing, with age comes wisdom, and who couldn’t use a few extra sage, pearls? Also, if we can learn anything from the aging process of wine and cheese, then we can only assume that we’re just getting better with the passing of time. This can also be said for some very, very lucky and very, very handsome men. There are a handful of beautiful men who as youths were hot as hell, but as they’ve aged, wooweee – and I quote the Mask here – somebody stop me! This Friday, let’s flashback together and indulge in some glorious, silver fox, eye candy. Continue reading

Blue on Blue on Blue

DOUBLE DENIM

Some things in this life are just so wrong, they’re right. Upon first consideration such glorious atrocities may be deemed too much for society to handle, or distasteful, but then it hits you – it just works, and you may not necessarily know why. And thank god for that, because such hot topic blunders tend to be absolute sartorial gold. Take for example – denim on denim. Once cursed to spend eternity on the ‘Worst Dressed List’, the Canadian Tuxedo is having a revival and looking damn good while it does. Continue reading

P-A-R-T-Y Wasn’t I Invited?!

P-A-R-T-Y

I’m the type of person who sometimes lives in fear – fear of missing out, or as it’s more popularly known FOMO (often seen with a hashtag in front of it). You find yourself in a situation where you must decline an offer to go out with your friends – let the feeling of FOMO set in. You’re working while your roomies decide to have an impromptu pizza party – yep, that’s gonna cause some serious FOMO. A handsome rockstar invites you to come with him to New York, but you have other obligations – in your dreams (!), but also major FOMO. Missing out on great parties is often my most recurring cause of FOMO, but what about fictional parties? Well my friends, that’s the FOMO that never goes away, because it never actually happened. Here are some of the most splendid imaginary soirées I so desperately want an invite to. Continue reading

Moonshine Memories

MOONSHINE MEMORIES

Certain sense experiences – smells, tastes, sights – can be associated with specific memories and allow waves of nostalgia to wash over us. If we were the leading character in a sitcom, it is during these moments that we’d stare thoughtfully into space and the show would cut to some sort of hazy memory from a not so distant past. When I smell pumpkin spice I think of autumn. When I smell orange and cloves I think of Christmas. And when I smell a delicious mixture of cocktails I think of summer. Summer is the season of sitting on the beach/patio/balcony of a friends’ with a nice, cold beverage in your hand. Now, excuse me while I pause to stare into the distance, and let my moonshine memories montage reel play out (recipes included). Continue reading

Lies We Tell Ourselves

LIES

At a young age we’re taught that lying is a socially unacceptable act. In fact, in some circles it’s considered unforgivable. My mother must have done an especially good job at ingraining this rule in my mind, as I am pretty much incapable of telling a successful lie. Even if I attempt to fabricate a lie out of thin air my physiological response (intense blushing and perspiration) gives me away immediately. Or just as I gain the conviction to tell the lie, I change my mind on a dime and begin to spew the unadulterated truth, usually TMI. Yes, I occasionally partake in a white lie or two, in order to a) protect someone’s feelings b) save face, or c) avoid plans that I know I’m not going to keep – I’m only human after all. There is one type of lie, however, that I’ve become an absolute master of – lying to myself – something I imagine we’re all guilty of.  Continue reading