The Slowpoke Diaries


Y’knowwwww, I’m not one to shy away from physical exertion. Happy to hike, pleased to portage a canoe on my back, and bloody psyched to partake in a body combat class. But no matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to get on board with running.

I’ve dabbled with the art of running, but it never really sticks. I’ll have weeks, scattered throughout the spring and summer, where I’m like “Hell yeah! Look at me go!”, but then the endorphins run out and my tune changes to, “Really? Do I want to venture at least 30 minutes away from my home only to have to RUN back, feeling like I’m dying”? That’s when I opt for a quick (rather slow-paced) yoga session in my room. Seriously, what’s my deal? I don’t consider my lifestyle particularly unhealthy, and I do exercise multiple times a week (cardio included), but when I go for a run I somehow turn into a panting, wheezing contestant of The Biggest Loser. I’ll leave for a casual evening jog looking like one of the perky, young, bright-coloured Lululemon wearing 20-somethings that you see pounding the pavement. However, upon my return, the individual standing in front of the mirror is more akin to a purple-faced, hair-stuck to head, perspiring Rob Ford. The picture of health, my friends!

At least this treacherous winter has served as the perfect excuse for avoiding the activity. The sidewalks/roads in my neighbourhood have been far too slippery for my liking, and the wind chill would have been enough to completely burn my face off. It just wasn’t in the cards this winter. But with the temperatures slowly creeping upwards (HUZZAH! It’s only -4 today!) and the pavement once again visible, my excuses have run out. Here’s my plan of action: a) Find good running blogs to pump me up b) Read Haruki Murakami’s What I Talk About When I Talk About Running c) Find some seriously stylin’ running shoes to take to the streets in. Here are some glorious options that are out there in the market (some obtainable, others, completely in my dreams)

CHANEL COUTUREChanel Couture 1 / 2 / 3

If I was a completely balling individual, these would be my first choice for jogging shoes. Karl Lagerfeld presented the most beautiful, and delicate sneaker confections for his Spring 2014 Chanel Couture collection. These are the Cinderella slipper, fairy godmother footwear version of running shoes. If I had these, oh yes, I’d make a day out of running around the city showing these puppies off. Just so long as I’m home before the clock strokes midnight!

CHANEL F14Chanel Ready-to-Wear 1 / 2 / 3

Again, Uncle Karl has provided the Chanel customer with some fabulous options from his Fall 2014 RTW collection to go running in. Though no less expensive than the above Couture options, these shoes are more similar in appearance and construction as a Nike shoe. However, this is a Nike shoe on glamorous steroids. Look at these! They’re running shoes made of different Chanel tweeds! They’re works of art! They’re so artsy and cool, I’m praying Nike comes up with something like this.

NIKENike 1 / 2 / 3

These are the coolest options available at my price range. At the top and bottom we have the Nike Flyknit Lunar 1+. In my eyes they are ALMOST as beautiful as the Chanel options. These ultralight shoes are meant to fit like a glove, while still being super flexible and ventilated. Not only are they practical and provide great performance, but they’re so cool with their speckly, knit appearance. I definitely want a pair. In the middle you’ll find the Nike Free Flyknit +. These are also a cool option. They’re basically like a very tight knit sock, that also happens to provide a sturdy, flexible sole for an avid runner. All these Nikes can be found at SportChek or a Nike retailer, such as the awesome store at Yorkdale.

Despite the fact that I 100% will not be acquiring the Chanel sneakers to give me that boost of enthusiasm to start running, I’m still going to give it a solid effort once the weather is nicer. A good trick for actually getting yourself to exercise is to buy  cool new gear. It sounds dopey, but it works. Get yourself some sweet Nike Flyknit shoes, some bright Lululemon shorts, and a witty, over-sized t-shirt from Value Village. I guarantee that once you make that small investment, the sweat will follow.

I tip my hat to you Homer


One response to “The Slowpoke Diaries

  1. theclickincloset

    Amazing! You’ve covered running. Good luck my friend.

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