Friendz 4eva XoXo


As the ‘fairer sex’, we’re told to stick together. Keep your wing women close and your frenemies even closer. Since kindergarten we make friends, play nice, and achieve BFFAEAEAE status. Most of the time these friendships are cupcakes, sprinkles, and shared trips to the lavatory, but sometimes, as it was so insightfully depicted in the movie Mean Girls, these ‘friendships’ can seem more like a lesson in navigating the hierarchy of the wild. Either you’re banding together as a tribe to stand as one, or you’re sworn frenemies. As the old saying goes “it ain’t easy being a girl”, but being a part of a kick a$$ girl tribe certainly helps! Which famous tribe would you want to be a member of??



The Plastics



The Plastics are an excellent example of a tribe of girls who aren’t exactly a supportive group of ladies. This frenemy situation is definitely a riskier option when looking for a tribe to join. If you don’t please the alpha-girl, then you may just end up another victim in the Burn Book! However, if you manage to not rock the boat, the girls will rally together to protect your reputation and get you what you want (as long as it’s not what they want as well). Becoming a member of this tribe has its perks. You can look forward to delicious mocktails provided by the girls’ cool moms, people emulating your style, and wearing pink on Wednesdays!


The Heathers



The deadliest, but oh-so-chic, girl tribe to join would have to be The Heathers. These chicks do not mess around. Be sure not to aggravate the edgiest member of the group, or you may find yourself drinking a truly toxic cocktail. In fact, play it safe and never accept food or beverage from any of these girls. Also, if your name isn’t Heather, but you still want to join the clan, you may have to do some *editing* of your personal legal documentation (not on my recommendation of course). These girls boast an intriguing lexicon and impeccable style – sporting lots of Chanel suits and loafers. They will also introduce you to new recreational activities such as croquet, eating pâté, witty pleasantries with your parents, and going to College parties. As an extra bonus, if your hair is lacking volume, the Heathers have a proven remedy for making your hair bigger – secrets!

The Ashleys



Upon further research, I’m beginning to think Disney’s Recess’, The Ashleys, were inspired by The Heathers, and that The Plastics were inspired by both! Being a member of the elite tribe, The Ashleys, is a big deal. Not only will you gain access to a truly exquisite subterranean clubhouse, but also to a new catchphrase: SCANDALOUS! Unfortunately, again, this is not the kindest group. They don’t seem to hesitate when it comes to making fun of those outside the tribe, which obviously is not a cool social move. However, within the group, they’re extremely loyal to one another. Membership does require having the first name Ashley, so more fudging of documents may be required to join.

The Bling Ring



Joining the notorious ‘Bling Ring’ would have had to take place during it’s inception, as the members have faced criminal charges for their frivolity since. However, let’s view this tribe more through the Hollywood lens provided by Sofia Coppola. Being a part of this group means endless access to any and all closets in the surrounding area, not to mention each member of the tribe’s wardrobe as well. Walking down the streets of L.A. with this crew will have you feeling like a celebrity, although the paparazzi that you’re posing for are only a figment of your imagination. It’s cool, visions of grandeur amongst this tribe are totally acceptable. Be warned, however, that when things go south (and they will) no one is going to have your back, and you will definitely be un-friended on all social media. What the group lacks in loyalty and morals they make up for in Chanel accessories and nights at da club.


The Baby-Sitters Club



Thus far I have only suggested to you the option of joining girl tribes that offer equal parts glamour and liability. For the final option, let’s consider a more wholesome tribe – The Baby-Sitters Club! A classic example of a true girl group friendship that stands the test of time, no matter what babysitting, or boy-crushing issues may arise. You’ll always be cash happy thanks to your lucrative entrepreneurial endeavours, and your wrists will be adorned with a plethora of braided friendship bracelets. Also, if you have a test to study for, your friends will help out and create a catchy rhyme so you can remember that the brain is indeed the centre of the chain! A+! There’s zero risk with joining this club, except of course if goody-two-shoe-ing behaviour gets on your nerves, and lemonade and cookies aren’t to your liking.




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